The Skeptical Juror: Off Topic: Jets v. Patriots

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Off Topic: Jets v. Patriots

Been a while since I went off topic, but January has been so darn depressing I think we all need a "pick-me-up." So I'm going to give you my pick on who is going to win the Jets / Patriots game this weekend.

Unlike other forecasters who rely on knowledge of the game and its players, I prefer to pick the games based on the behavior of key players outside the field of play. Why take all that time to study game films and compile passing stats when I can just pick based on who gets on my nerves?

For me, this game comes down to Tom Brady (quarterback for the Patriots) versus Antonio Cromardie (cornerback for the Jets.) All I have to do is figure out which of the two bugs me the most, and pick his team for the win. I don't know why it works, it just does. The teams that have the least annoying players never win. It's a cosmic rule. It's why the Angels can't win a World Series: disqualified due to their team name alone.

First I'll evaluate Tom Brady. Here is Tom pissing me off by telling me to turn off my lights to save the earth.

Then Tom spent $7500 for Christmas lights last year, after telling the rest of us to turn ours off. He's a strong contender, no doubt.

But Antonio Cromardie won't give up without a fight. Check this video where Antonio tries to remember how many children he has, their name, and their age. He tries this after explaining how "you got to be that father figure, you know. That husband."

I count 8 children, including 2 newborns and 4 children who are 3 years old or thereabouts. I concede I may have been unable to understand some of the childrens' names. Here's my best effort accounting them.